Living By Your Own Truth
I have from the very beginning listened to my instinct. All of my best decisions in life have come because I was attuned to what really felt like the next right move for me. - Oprah Winfrey
As the sun set over over my Christmas day celebration with family, I grew contemplative about the upcoming new year and what might become of the next chapter of my life.
Sewing Class at Houston Community College
2023 has been one of the greatest years I’ve ever lived. I owe that to a life coach who taught me the concept of acceptance earlier this year and to the fact that I completed every goal that I had set for myself which included traveling to France, Benin, Japan (and taking an amazing ranch trip to Colorado), embracing my grandmother’s legacy by learning to sew my first set of garments, expanding my network, and gaining additional training for my vocation in sustainable practices and international human rights.
Is it naughty or nice to add your own rendition of Little Drummer Boy to your Christmas music playlist?
I was listening to the Christmas playlist that Spencer put on the TV, and it dawned on me that I didn’t have the same clarity about what I’d prioritize in 2024. Where would I go? What would I do? Who would I become?
There have been a few times in my life where the path was clear, like in 2023. As sure as the sun rises and falls on the horizon, 2023 flowed with a joyful, invigorating energy like it was simply meant to be. Sure, I experienced some frustrations, but I was mentally in sync with a plan for my own life and the work and service I intended to contribute. I struggled over many years without a vision for my life, and in those times, I only knew to move forward the best I could with what I had in front of me. Though I desired progress, I had no direction. Those years taught me that there is no true progress without direction. The only way to know the right direction is through understanding and accepting your own truth. Once you understand it and accept it, you can walk in it.
I often think that perhaps I should just sit, enjoy what I’ve already accomplished, and simply be. But no. My truth is that sitting still is not for me. I want to learn, grow, and contribute in ways and at levels that are meaningful to me. I want to share my perspective and what I have learned. I know the difference between working toward random goals and operating from a place of purpose, truth, and intention. Here In the Highlands comes from a place of personal truth and intention. So will the work I pursue in 2024 and beyond.
The Color Purple
On the afternoon of December 26, I sat down in the Regal theater with family to watch The Color Purple (what an amazing cast, story and soundtrack!), a film that tells the fictional though representational story of a poor, faith-filled, black girl named Celie who lived in rural Georgia in the early 1900s. She suffered extreme abuse by her step-father and husband but survived through faith and the unbreakable bond with three women. When Oprah starred in the 1985 version of The Color Purple, she called it a “spiritual grounding,” and I understand why. The story is a one of a woman overcoming trauma through the power of friendship, hope, faith, acceptance and truth. Oprah found what felt like her own truth in the story, so much so that she became one of the producers of the 2023 remake.
I went to bed on the night of the 26th thinking about The Color Purple story and being fully aware that the disappointments and pain that I’ve experienced in my life pale in comparison to the suffering of women like Celie. Yet I was so moved by the film that I searched for the common thread that would allow Celie’s story - and Oprah’s story - to enrich yours and mine.
The next morning, I jumped on my treadmill and stumbled upon this YouTube video. It’s a compilation of recorded audio of words of wisdom from Oprah, a woman who also lived through poverty and abuse, but as you probably know became a joy-filled woman of faith and purpose (and a billionaire in the process).
Many of you are already familiar with Oprah’s story. She started out as a local news reporter but became a global icon as the top rated talk show host on network TV for 25 years. Though it seemed glamorous to others, at about 10:30 and then again at 28 minutes into the video, Oprah explains how she knew early in her career that working as a reporter felt like “an unnatural act” for her. Like Oprah, many men and women, including myself at times in my career, have simply done the work in front of us while knowing that we have a different truth. There are reasons and seasons why we stay and times where we must go. Heeding those times, and our personal truths, is the thread that binds us.
“I was torn between what the world was saying to me and what I felt to be the truth for myself. ”
How Oprah Lived By Her Own Truth
When Oprah was a reporter in Baltimore earning $10,000 per year, she received an offer from a station in Atlanta for $40K. Her boss told her, “You do not know what you don’t know. You need to stay here until you can learn to write better and perfect your craft as a journalist.” Oprah stayed for a salary of $12K. She didn’t just stay to stay. She stayed and took advantage of the opportunity to prepare. Later when her salary increased to $25K, people again told her she’d be crazy to leave her job as as a reporter. This led to what felt like a demotion at the time: a placement on a talk show. Soon thereafter, Oprah realized that “talk” was where she was meant to be. Listening to your truth doesn’t always mean that you should move. It may mean that you should learn.
“I started listening to what felt like the truth for me.”
Eventually, when Oprah received an offer to move to Chicago to join a talk show, everyone but her best friend, Gayle, told her that she wouldn’t be accepted because it was a racist city. They said she would fail. Oprah moved to Chicago, and became an international household name. She knew that moving to Chicago had been the right thing to do.
I knew that the time would come where what I needed would show up for me, and when that showed up, I was ready. Because my definition of luck is preparation meeting the moment of opportunity, and I was prepared to be able step into that world of talk in a way that I knew I could do it. - Oprah
What Feels Like Truth for You
How many of us have spent years living without our own place of truth? How many of us have knocked on locked doors in search of recognition and acceptance, jobs and promotions, instead of believing in ourselves so much that validation from others is no longer required? You may not be in control of the doors that open, but you are in control of what you can do.
Finding Purpose Through Moments of Truth
One thing I’m convinced of is that your next steps are made clearer when you walk in your truth - those awakened moments of sheer honesty about who you are and what you believe you’re supposed to become or do. Moments of truth come through looking inward without pretense or judgment but also by looking outside-in as an observer of oneself. What gets you bothered? What means the most to you? What do you really want to learn, become, or do? How do you want to participate with the other people and the world? Watch and listen for what rings true for you. Do you want the title or promotion so that you can contribute in greater ways, or do you pursue it for some sort of validation? Truth gives us a foundation upon which to make decisions.
“You will find true success and happiness if you have only one goal...to fulfill the highest, most truthful expression of yourself as a human being. You want to max out your humanity by using you energy to lift yourself up, your family, and the people around you. Theologian Howard Thurman said it best, “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that because what the world needs is people who have come alive.””
The Color Purple ends with Celie discovering who she is by listening to her heart and standing up for her own truth. In spite of her circumstances, and in the face of lingering fear, Celie learned to hold her head high, and to look past the pain and despair and onward toward her truth.
What does your truth feel like for you? What does it lead you to do?